How to Sell an Illusion

[mc, mf, md]

((Another story born out a request/challenge at The Garden of MC, this time around by member BEC. The base idea was to come up with something involving “a large diamond and a large onion.”))


The Zenobia Diamond: a more than 100 carats beauty like no other, sporting the top colour ranking of Fancy Vivid Yellow. It was unearthed somewhere in South Africa a couple of years ago, and it’s a rare treat for the eyes of many, an otherwordly desire for avid collectors, and the dream of any prestigious jewel thief.

Take Deanna Mason for exemple, a.k.a. The Swift Goddess, and one of the best in her field of expertise. For a long, long time, she had dreamed of the day when she would be able to take that preciousness as her own. Well, at least for a short period of time seeing she was a mercenary in the criminal arts and stole anything for anyone who had enough money to burn.

Learning every single detail of the tight security system devised for that particular exhibiton had been a laborious and meticulous process but she, eventually, had found a way to bypass it all: heat sensors, infrared arrays, pressure plates, invisible lasers, the works, until she had finally opened the crystal case without triggering the dozen of silent alarms surrounding it. This was her moment of glory, the peak of thieving grandiosity… she would always be the one remembered as the one who had managed to swipe…

… a giant onion?!!

“What the hell?” she thought as she looked at she was holding. She had come for a precious stone and got a bulb vegetable, instead? That made absolutely no sense! What made things worse was the fact that, once inside the display, she could see the perfectly cut diamond once again, tantalizing her senses with the promises of an incomparable wealth.

So where did the trick come from? Was it some sort of projection device she couldn’t see? She would love to figure out but the truth is she was now convinced she was running out of time and that the Museum Security as well as the Metropolitan Police were already on her way to arrest her.

She was about ready to leave when a man’s voice whispered behind her.

“Why such rush, Swift Goddess? You didn’t like the exhibit in the end?” he asked, arrongantly.

Deanna turned her head to face him, an apparently impeccable gentleman with a white suit that contrasted with her dark, clingy outfit. His smile would have been a captivating one, if it weren’t for a couple of golden teeth that sparkled here and there.

“Don’t worry about security. No one is coming to disturb us at least for a couple of hours…” he added.

“And you are….?

“Benjamin Caldwell, the top gun in charge of protecting what you came to stole. You look disappointed… what’s the matter? You don’t like onions?”

“Not really. I don’t like your lack of sense of humour, either, Mr. Caldwell. What’s the angle, here? What’s the purpose of all of this?”

“Well, first of all, I wanted to show you I know how to sell an illusion, that’s all. Secondly, I wanted to meet the woman who’s going to be blamed for the disappearance of the Zenobia once I run away with the real thing…. ”

“Excuse me?!!”

Caldwell took two steps towards her and it was the first time she noticed the small, cilynder-like object in his left hand.

“Don’t look so shocked, Miss! You’re not the only thief in the business! I could have taken the gem a long time ago, but I needed the perfect escape goat for the heist, preferably one that’s currently being paid by my client’s… competition!“

“Oh, so that’s the game we’re playing, huh?” she smirked. “Cute, but I’m not interested in taking the fall for something I clearly won’t have the chance of doing in the first place.”

“I knew you were going to say something like that, which is why I brought this baby with me.” He threw her the object he was carrying and watched her grab it before it was allowed to fall on one of the pressure plates on the floor. “Do you know what it is?”

A quick examination gave her the right answer.

“A case for an hypodermic needle. There’s a switch here that triggers it but…”

“That’s right, the contents of the syringe are empty. Onions usually make us cry, others have a nasty tendency of drugging us, even if we’re wearing protective gloves…”

Deanna started to feel dizzy almost immediately, her strenght disappearing by the second. Caldwell moved in to grab her before she collapsed against the case and gently took her to an adjacent room where she sat and allowed the drug cocktail to work its magic on such vital functions like short-term memory, inhibition control, and thought manipulation. Then, he proceeded to indoctrinate her with the story she was to repeat to the authorities when she got caught.

It was a beauty, really, something about the diamond having been handed over to her accomplice who happened to work for the chinese oil tycoon Lao Ming. The scandal brought about by such accusations would make him lose a lot of money in the stock market and a couple of contracts still waiting to be signed.

As Deanna obediently droned the story that was now a part of her true memories, Caldwell sighed as his hands traced every line of her spectacularly addictive body. He really shouldn’t indulge in carnal pleasures at that moment but he was sure her unadorned form would make Aphrodite herself blush and there was something about her lips that made his cock throb and tingle.

So, without further ado, he listened to the voice of temptation and gave her something else to remember and swallow before he had to go with the real diamond casually hidden inside a secret pocket of his suit.

The night air was cool, fresh, everything that made him tick, and he had a private jet waiting for him nearby for an appointment with his employer. In the end, both would get what they wanted.

Funny story, though. When, a couple of days later, the one who hired his services went to the room where he kept his private collection of precious stones from all around the world to look at the Zenobia, all he found was a heavily-secured dome with a very large onion inside.

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